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Five years later, legacy of Salem's O'Grady
alive SALEM — It has been five years since Stephen O'Grady died. Five years since the youthful director of the Boys and Girls Club was killed by a drunken driver while returning with friends from New Hampshire. Five years since the city's heart skipped a beat. "Sunday is going to be a real hard day for us," said Rosie Cross, the administrative assistant at the club who was in the car with O'Grady. O'Grady, who was 30 when he died, will be remembered Sunday, the fifth anniversary of his death, at the 10:30 a.m. Mass at Immaculate Conception Church. Although the Mass may be emotional, O'Grady's family and friends have turned his death into a powerful statement about his life. He is remembered each year at a golf tournament and dance in his name. A Little League field at Forest River Park was renamed Stephen M. O'Grady Field. A tree was planted in his memory at Collins Middle School. O'Grady scholarships are given out each year by the Salem public schools and by St. John the Evangelist School in Beverly, where he was athletic director. There is a Stephen O'Grady Scholarship Foundation, which has awarded more than $30,000 to Salem Little League players or volunteers who have gone on to college. (He was a beloved coach of the Reds, a perennial Little League power.) There also is a Steve O'Grady Building Fund at the Boys and Girls Club, which has raised more than $60,000 for a new building. There is even a Web site — stephenogrady.com — that keeps track of the latest news and events. Of all the tributes, the greatest might be the one by O'Grady's older sister, Beth, who has dedicated her life, or at least a big part of it, to her brother's memory. Never a runner, she has covered more than 4,000 miles over the past few years in a quest to raise $30,000 — symbolic of his age — for the Boys Club and the scholarship fund. She has run three marathons — Boston, Chicago and San Diego — and has set her sights on New York in November. She has become involved in almost every aspect of the Boys and Girls Club, and will take over as board president next year. "I'm not the person I was before Stephen died," she said. "In many ways, I think I'm a better person. I'm definitely a less selfish person. I realize our lives are not about ourselves. They're about the impact we can make in the world around us ... . I'm definitely not alone in feeling that way. I think a lot of people have been changed by Stephen's life and by his death." Steve and Beth O'Grady were close in life and, in a sense, are still close. At his urging, she moved into the top floor of his house the year before he died. A few months later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Steve called a family meeting at a Chinese restaurant to map a plan of attack. Beth, who has had a successful recovery, completed radiation two months after Steve's accident. Since then, she has dedicated herself to foundations, scholarships and memorials. She has even made herself a marathon runner. "She feels she is doing it for Stephen," said her mother, Theresa O'Grady. "She feels he's there with her all the time." In a way, Beth O'Grady feels she received a gift from her brother, a lesson in life from a tragic event. She appreciates each day much more, she said, has a clearer view of what is important and what is not, and has a better understanding of the difference each person can make. "I think what her brother's death did is give her an appreciation for life and the impact you can make on somebody's life," said Thomas Philbin, the executive director of the Boys and Girls Club. Beth O'Grady shrugs off any suggestion she deserves credit for what she is doing. "Stephen's memory would be alive without the work I'm doing," she said, "because it's clear that his friends will never forget him." What she's doing, Beth said, is personal. "In some ways, I'm not totally accepting of what has happened to him, so the way I deal with it is to give myself goals. ... I know I can't change what happened, but if I can see something positive come out of it, then I can feel in some way he's still with me and still influencing the community in a positive way."
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